The hardest thing to do in the world

Is it a 50 km trek? Or 100 push ups? Resisting that second serve of dessert when you are on a weight loss diet? Looking away when you see the ‘SALE’ sign on your favorite shoe store window?

All toughies I’d agree. But the hardest thing in the world is NOT to say “I told you so”.

Your daughter wants to take her new bike for a spin on the very first day without proper practice. You tell her not to. She does it anyway and has a fall. After the initial comforting and crying that ‘oh thank god nothing happened to you my precious’ – what are you really DYING to say? I told you so.

The wife lends the dewy eyed I-need-the-cash-so-badly-I-don’t-know-what-I’l-do  maid a substantial sum of money even though you warned her that the woman is up to no good. She does anyway and the maid then disappears. After the wife’s done venting and apologizing – all thats really on your mind? I told you so. ( sometimes followed by gentle expletives like – you dumb fool).

The husband has a couple of extra pegs of whiskey at his friend’s party and is driving home at top speed even though you told him the traffic policemen are very watchful these days. He does it anyway. You are pulled over. A half an hour of negotiating, paying up and warnings later – when the man returns to the car with a sheepish expression. What you want to do? Take a club and bang his head repeatedly saying what? I told you so.

Being right makes you feel so damn wonderful that sometimes JUST so you can be right – you may even wish that things pan out in the exact same terrible way you predicted it.

Don’t agree?  The next time the teenager in the house gets his grades and flunks the subject that he didn’t study for because there was a rock concert in town – try. Try not to say it. Even better. Try not to think it.

I bet you’d prefer those 100 push ups.


Weighty Issues

You know how everyone is always talking about weight these days? I don’t get it. 

It is like the English fixation with the weather. And talking about each other’s weight is exactly like talking about the weather. Inane conversation which is neither riveting  nor utilitarian. 

You meet an old friend and she’d say something like ” hello…long time no see…you’ve lost even more weight or you have put on weight”. And I will say – “yes… and you too…” Most days you do not even have to apply half a brain to carry on such conversations. 
In a world with rising global warming, overflowing sewers, crippling unemployment, blatant prostitution and pragmatic poverty – we talk about weight. 
In a world with innumerable colors, soul stirring music, ancient heritage buildings, space travel and rainbows – we behold weight. 
Come on people – we can make more interesting conversation than this. 

Good examples

Two uniformed traffic policemen crammed on a two wheeler with much of their excess weight hanging like grocery bags on either side of the seat.

They have the left indicator on – they break a signal and turn right much to the understandable chagrin of the onlookers.

I know I should have been indignant like the rest of the people around me. All I could do was laugh at the craziness of this country.The law enforcers are the law breakers!!! If I met the two goons face to face I’d say ” You good example you!!!”