I accept the banning of Beef.
I cannot say I am overjoyed but I can live with it.
But beeping out the word itself with 4 stars on National television ? Now that is just sadism.
For three consecutive episodes of Top Chef I kept thinking – Whoa!! Expletives seem to be the underlying theme for the New Top Chef season until I realized that the poor chefs were just saying –
“I would like Beef ” (when they were asking for their protein of choice) and not something completely inappropriate!!!!
I have spent the last few years patiently decoding the **** on TV. It has been no easy task for someone who does not abuse much in the first place. It has been a taxing process but some tasks are so noble and so important that they HAVE to be done.
3 stars for Sex (But thats pretty simple. Also Luckily this is not always blocked out)
After that it gets a bit more complicated.
4 stars for F£@k or Shit or Piss. Also several other unmentionable 4 letter words.
Now considering that there are 5-6 or more of such 4 letter words and all are designated by the unimaginative 4 stars – it all gets rather murky and blurred.
Oddly the Holy cow for some unknown reason seems to have found itself a member of this disreputable four star club of undesirables on television. Now I personally think it deserves better than to be thrust headlong into this melee of confused profanities but it shall be no easy task for the sadly uninspired word-beeper-outer people on TV.
Let me give you an example of what we are dealing with:
I had the ****. And it was incredible.
My companion had the **** which was tender and savored with enjoyment.
I made ****. It was out of this world.
I am paraphrasing of course but all the above has been said in one form or the other on the cooking series. I belatedly arrived at ‘Beef’ after eliminating the other less desirable possibilities but you can see how scarred I must be after all the baffled and shocked decoding.
It is imperative to ensure that all of this state and maybe India remains in the dark as to what exactly the rest of the world is eating quite heartily but we need to find some better and more distinguished way to represent it on National Television.
Confusing us all with **** is just wrong.
I suggest the ‘Whatsapp’ – 2 folded arms Namaste emoticon to block out the word showing a suitable amount of reverence and far more clarity thus preserving its substantial holiness while concealing its heinous wholesomeness as a meal.